2024 has not been my favorite, a hundred percent.
Research/work wise, absolutely a shit show. Achieved absolutely nothing, or let's say, I know it's time to leave, and hopefully leave the entire bench work behind. (That's the hope but it's not easy to fully transition out, so we'll see.)
I did a bunch of outreach tho! (High schoolers, summer undergrads, and SciSat to smaller kids) It's all fun and kinda made me feel ok about doing all these. And I for sure learned (or knew) what I can do better in terms of teaching. Well, at this point, I don't see why I'll use these experience for my teaching statement cuz I'm not gonna try TT positions at all. LOL
Sad but real.
Other stuff, hmm, visited the lab gangs early summer, it was really nice to catch up with people. Relationship wise, I think it's been good! Well, really need to figure out how to come out to the hen. I just really don't see how to deal with that. That whole emotional blackmail is just absolutely I can'e deal with.
Health wise LOL
Somehow got Lyme disease in July. Hiking in MA, of course. The whitest moment of my life LOL.
Travel, hmm, March back to Taiwan (and visited nowhere), October to Hawaii, very pretty and tropical, June and July back to CT and MA. That's about it I think? It's a "I thought if I don't go anywhere and just focus on research I will get good returns" but at the end I was soooooo burned out that I am at this very moment really don't want to do any research anymore. Like, why did I get myself into all these BS.
All the stress, bruised self esteem.
In 2025, I honestly just want to prepare to get a new job. And research here, I mean, work is work. I will do what I was told and push it forward, that's it. I cannot deal with this guilt anymore. Do whatever I can and move on.
But, a more streamlined work flow would be nice! That's maybe the one thing I learned.
Fingers crossed!
