It's been a while

Wow hey, I really was not sure this is still here!

Pretty cool that google is keeping this service. It feels kinda millennial LOL

Anyway, too many things have happened in the past few years. Many ups and many downs, still very stressed about future, still very stressed about being ordinary.

But anyway, life moves on.

Coming back to New Haven 2020 Spring

這次回台灣也是感觸良多啊，但主要就是在糾結未來到底要在哪裡生根以及思考到底要如何照顧老媽這種事情。

有些有趣的事情可以記錄下來

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[手腕橈骨骨折]的老媽

這似乎是個很常骨折的部位

總之開完刀（自費鈦合金的骨頭支架？大概六萬）手還是有腫但是有慢慢消

好像可以讓手指動一動幫忙消腫，反正不該動的部位基本也都用石膏固定住了應該是沒差

總共好像要固定一個多月的樣子......

大家記得要多補充鈣質跟Vitamin D3 (骨折就不妙了

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另外一個有趣的地方是這次過JFK and TPE 的海關都不用填海關申報單

以前都要的說

貌似JFK在試圖變更系統成電子的 (but I'm not sure about it)

不過這次通關花了1.5 hr排隊，依舊相當崩潰

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想想覺得台灣的食物還是好吃的 (我家附近的某鹹酥雞攤)

Taiwanese comfort food 就非這莫屬了

養蟲蟲 and MOE workshop

蟲蟲塔 (Mealworm tower)

This is for Xenorhabdus transformation from M-form to P-form, by injecting cell cultures into those bugs. It's kinda fun actually (probably because I'm dark inside lol). I'm still hoping that science would work well and stay in academia, cuz there are still some exciting things needed to be discovered.

Anyway, this is gonna wait for 36 - 48 hours for the bacteria to propagate in the mid gut, and the worms would paralyze, turn black, and maybe diarrhea (?) and die. After that I'll have to grow the P-form Xenorhabdus again.

I think it's cool to coculture Sf21 or other insect cell lines and figure out what triggers the transformation, cuz still nobody knows what that is.

The other thing happened today was the MOE workshop. Although I already kinda know how to work with it, there's still some details that I had no idea. And surprisingly, they said that there's only ~45 people in MOE company, which is kinda amazing.

第三年

其實好像跟以前沒有什麼變

只是人變老了人變憂鬱了更孤獨了

也沒變聰明知識含量也沒有增加

是個馬齒徒長的概念

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先這樣吧最近很難也無法靜下心來寫亂七八糟的東西

[自白] Second year

第2年剛開始，覺得過得並不好，nothing to do with science, but about relationships

人與人之間的關係真的不是率真或是直白或是乾脆這些直線條的詞語可以形容的

也不是那樣處理的

總是有各種拐彎抹角各種忍耐，也許有所求(sounds super normal)但必須退而求其次

也許sometimes being offensive but didn't mean to do that

Didn't mean to hurt anyone but people still might take it seriously.

Then? I'm tired of that. Why do I (or you) want to be with those making you unhappy, making you stressed out and at the end just nothing but shit?

I'm pretending I'm good, but I'm not, completely not.

I'm pretending I'm strong enough to handle things, but how can I?

I'm not saying I'm not an adult, but I hate this feeling that nobody cares you but you still have to do those things cuz if you don't do that then things are going bad and, people are still going blame you and teasing on you and making fun of you!

Why am I being here? What am I doing here? Am I really doing great science? Probably. But I'm pretty sure I'm not doing well on relationships, not even maintaining but neither getting new ones. I know, I'm a clown, pretending everything and fucking off everything.

[傑森] 需要獨立

覺得很需要能夠獨立的在實驗室做實驗，這樣才能夠自己調整步調啊，不用老跟著別人

但有點崩潰的是似乎大家都是各自為政，自己賣自己要的藥品器材什麼的，沒有太多的share的狀況，然後我又沒有自己的空間跟買東西的能力(？)

就必須要一直依賴著宜克同學

即使如此，很多器材什麼的還是很不熟很不會用......每次想到都很煩躁......

像是NMR LCMS Biotage <---這3個是最近一定要想辦法搞定的機器

其他的就像是合成(dry solvent的機器) 連送Protein ID都不能自己弄.....

還好SDS PAGE 跟 DNA gel 大致上都熟悉 (感謝Richard and Alicia的教學，protein的部份我還算是學習良好)，只是很多東西放哪裡也都不清楚就是了ㄎ

也是想到就各種煩......

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需要更多的努力......

圖文不符之正在吃東西的松鼠

[傑森] Rotation Project 2

目測是個相當難做的實驗，不太清楚到底能釣魚到什麼東西......

前傳：總之有個叫作Raj的免疫所 MD PhD 留下了這個神奇的project......

這傢伙啊，把各種stress source拿去搞HeLa (個人對於搞HeLa這件事情不是很安心，畢竟cancer cell line我覺得不是模擬一般細胞的好東西，但也可能我的認知錯誤) 發現其中一個stress後的細胞會產生某個神奇的二次代謝物可以去刺激免疫細胞有免疫反應。這件事情的確蠻有趣的，但這個分子到底怎麼生出來的就很玄了，這東西目測非常像塑膠，也的確塑膠類製品有這個，而他的單體adipate跟ethylene glycol都有可能是stress後的產物，所以咱家傑森很想知道是什麼酵素製造這個奇怪的東西的(並且懷疑這東西可能是新的生物大分子)。

所以，我的project就是把這個protein釣出來，這不是普通難我覺得......

我目前還沒怎麼找到代謝物可以用這個方法pull down的，尤其酵素要是個好傢伙產物dissociation不能太慢啊，因此

方法一：用很像的polymer黏到resin上面做pull down assay => 我覺得不是個好方法，並且.....PS resin超級黏，incubation根本超難做。總之我覺得這個interaction太弱了，釣魚應該非常困難，明天就知道結果了lol

目前心理比較想搞

方法二：在代謝物身上裝diazirine，理論上只要有binding照UV應該就可以把他黏到酵素身上。目前有兩個想法，一個是裝整套代謝物的，另一個是裝半套，adipate留一個酸，我覺得這個版本還會是個受質有機會被酵素拿來用。但這個需要的合成我覺得要搞蠻久的，雖然有看到相關的publication，但就還要討論一陣子吧